Hopes & Fears

My luggage is out of the cupboard 
I've made 2 lists,  Carry- on and main luggage.
Hope I can fit everything in 

I need to go to the grocery store to-night to pick up cookies (as usual I'm leaving everything to the last gasp), and then I'll start packing,
 Maybe not packing but just putting the stuff that is going into the case .. Well it's a start ......

It is only 4 days till I'm jetting off to my holiday home in North America. Stuart would have a fit if he read this.. it's his home I'm going too.

I have finally ordered my Canadian and US currency  I've to pick that  up on Wednesday. I've only been talking about it for a couple of weeks and had the money in the bank that length of time too.. and when i decide to get it done the exchange rate is way too low...for me anyway.

I still have to get the suitcase out the cupboard. I think I have bought everything I need....
I still have to pick up a couple of things for my friends and some cookies for Stuart. The cookies might not happen, I'll need to see what room I have case. I might have had room ... if he hadn't e-mailed me at work last week and asked if he ordered some stuff on-line and have it delivered to me , could I bring it over with me. 
I said sure , but then it was .... Can I use your credit card to pay for it ..... I tend to spoil him for the  2 weeks I see him every year.  So mom said yes.... 

In our telephone conversation on Friday, he was telling me that the Nintendo Wii is only $250. "Why you telling me?" says I... Guess what he want's me to buy it . I haven't told him yet, but his grandpa has given me $100 for him so he can put that towards it. Or I can ...we'll see.

As all my friends know, my dog Molly was put to sleep last Thursday
She had been very sick and her pain meds were not working anymore. the muscles in her back legs had gone and she could hardly walk. And last Wednesday night she was vomitting and it was dark blood. The vet said she had internal bleeding, I'm thinking the last lot of meds she had done in her stomach.  

I have stopped coming home from work in my lunch hour and I'm not rushing to get home at night as it still feels strange coming home to an empty house. 

I thought I was doing fine until,in the mail yesterday, was,  what I thought the final bill from the vet clinic but it wasn't it was a sympathy card and a poem. I just broken down. 

here is the poem    

If it should be........

If it should be that I grow weak,
And pain should keep me from my sleep,
Then you must do what must be done,
For this last battle can't be won.

You will be sad, I understand,
Don't let your grief then stay your hand,
For this day, more than all the rest,
Your love for me must stand the test.

We've had so many happy years,
What has to come can hold no fears,
You'd not want me to suffer so,
The time has come to let me go.

Take me to where my needs they'll tend,
And please stay with me to the end,
Hold me firm and speak to me,
Until my eyes no longer see.

I know in time that you will see,
The kindness that you did for me,
Although my tail it's last has waved,
From pain and suffering I've been saved.

Please do not grieve it must be you,
Who has this painful thing to do,
We've been so close, we two, these years,
Don't let your heart hold back the tears.
                    ***********

It'll take a while to get used to being on my own again the house, but I know I will be fine.

Thank you to all my friends for their kind messages, they were very much appreciated.

I hope every one had a very merry christmas and spent some quailty time with their families.
 It was just Dad and I this year. Every year I have to drive to my brothers house. so this year I just wanted to stay home and I did. 
I think Dad had a good time, telling me all his stories AGAIN. I think he forgets that I've heard them all a million times. One I heard from him recently was about how the teddy bear got his name. Back in Novemeber Dad and I were out shopping and I asked him what he would like for christmas. as usual he said nothing. then he spies a Teddy bear in a store ans he said " Just get me a Roosevelt" Knowing what his stories are like I reluctantly asked him what he meant."Well " he said a Roosevelt is a Teddy bear and that they got that name because the president of the US Theredore Roosevelt was always out shootong bears so they called the bear after him "Teddy".. Now I don't know if this is true or not, So please don’t quote me on this. So yesterday just before dinner I gave him his gift. And he was delighted and he laughed and guess what I heard the story again. 

My son Stuart called from Canada, just his usual 2 seconds saying “Call me Back Mom” I always call him back and the call can last anytime up to 1 hour depending what we have to say. 

He had a lovely chat with his Grandpa and I chatted to him while I made the dinner (Thank goodness for cordless phones) and he sent me via  MSN the video of his newly decorated apartment, so I put it on a disc along with the videos he sent of  it  when it was empty and of the view from his 11 story high balcony. (He can see the CN tower and Lake Ontario from there). I showed it to my Dad and he liked it. I won’t talk with Stuart now until next year. I call him at Midnight (UK Time ) and then again Midnight (Canadian Time) I am always with him “At the Bells”

So back to work to-morrow.  A busy day or three as it is the end of our financial year and everything book keeping wise has to be done before close of business on Friday. And we close at 12noon on Friday .

Once again I hope everyone on my F-list had a great holiday.  

You are The Empress

Beauty, happiness, pleasure, success, luxury, dissipation.

The Empress is associated with Venus, the feminine planet, so it represents,
beauty, charm, pleasure, luxury, and delight. You may be good at home
decorating, art or anything to do with making things beautiful.

The Empress is a creator, be it creation of life, of romance, of art or business. While the Magician is the primal spark, the idea made real, and the High Priestess is the one who gives the idea a form, the Empress is the womb where it gestates and grows till it is ready to be born. This is why her symbol is Venus, goddess of beautiful things as well as love. Even so, the Empress is more Demeter, goddess of abundance, then sensual Venus. She is the giver of Earthly gifts, yet at the same time, she can, in anger withhold, as Demeter did when her daughter, Persephone, was kidnapped. In fury and grief, she kept the Earth barren till her child was returned to her.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

I have a week off from work next week and I’m so glad……...

Work has been getting me down recently and I think most of my colleagues feel the same. We are a very busy company and are short staffed in the administration department, but the MD will not hire more staff. Everyone is doing 2 or 3 different jobs and not getting the chance to do their own jobs efficiently, me included and this pisses me off.

Today I discovered that they are bringing in a temp to cover part of my job while I am off next week. I have to induct him into the company to-morrow (health & safety stuff) and show him what needs to be done. I don’t mind doing that but Friday is one of my really busy days and I don’t think I’ll get everything done before I finish up at 4.30pm.

 Why can’t bosses see that we need more staff? Are we all coping to well multi-tasking that he thinks we don’t need more staff?

The only reason the temp is coming in, is because the person who usually covers my job has refused to do Credit Control, (you know phoning our debtors and asking for payments to be made). And I don’t blame her one wee bit, she is doing the job of 2 people as it is and will be doing one of my daily tasks.

All we need is a full time receptionist. We had 2 part-time receptionists, one left in April and wasn’t replaced and the other fell pregnant soon after and has not had a very good pregnancy and was off sick a lot before her maternity leave kicked in.

So we are short of a Receptionist and he won’t employ one on a permanent basis.

Well moan over and roll on Friday 4.30pm and I’m out of there for a whole week.